It's another rainy day here in Bangladesh. I am incredibly thankful for these cool, cozy days. And for nights where I actually wish I had another blanket!
Yesterday, I decided to go through all my things - I say that like there is so much! ;) I sorted through it all, packed up everything that I won't need in the next 2 weeks and put it in a suitcase. It's kind of... surreal. Only 2 weeks left! It's strange- coming to the end of something. Kind of sad. But I have decided not to allow myself to be focused on the sad things so that I can really enjoy the good things. It's easy to jump ahead to how hard it will be when my family comes back here without me and things like that, but I have to remind myself that that is not today- and I don't want to be so focused on some far-off difficulty in the future that I miss out on today.
I have been reflecting a lot on the past year here. I can't believe it's been a year! Thinking back to when we first got here, how ridiculously challenging it was. I am sure we still have a lot to learn, but we have really come so far! We've actually learned how to survive in this crazy country! haha..
I guess I had a lot of ideas in my head about how things would be here, things we would be doing, how things would feel and how things would look like. It's funny now because it has been so other than what I expected... but it has been really good. Really, really hard- but good. It has been incredibly humbling- if not humiliating. I have been pushed beyond what I can handle in almost very way, come up short, failed... totally missed the mark. And, that is not a bad thing because I now see Jesus in a totally new light.
I have been reading through the Gospels lately. It's strange to read through them now because the way New Testament Israel was is so comparable to how Bangladesh is today. The religious self righteous people, the poor, the sick, the crippled, the hungry.. everyone being needy. The hypocrisy and lies- people trying to take advantage of Jesus- just to get a loaf of bread or a fish. The constant crowds.. Everyone looking to you for something. I can't help but compare how we have dealt with similar things (on a far lesser level of course), and have really been at a loss as to what we should do , how to do it, who to help, who to trust... we have been pushed beyond what we can handle so easily! And yet, Jesus always knew exactly what to do, who to help. It amazes me. He could walk through a crowd of people who all wanted His attention and His help- and he would heal one or a few... It's hard to describe the constant pressure and guilt you feel here because it seems like everyone is looking to you for something. But it didn't phase Him- He just did what His Father told him to do. While it has been a humbling experience for me to see my own lack and inefficiency... I am definitely more amazed by Jesus. And, that really brings meaning to the entire experience here.
Yesterday, I decided to go through all my things - I say that like there is so much! ;) I sorted through it all, packed up everything that I won't need in the next 2 weeks and put it in a suitcase. It's kind of... surreal. Only 2 weeks left! It's strange- coming to the end of something. Kind of sad. But I have decided not to allow myself to be focused on the sad things so that I can really enjoy the good things. It's easy to jump ahead to how hard it will be when my family comes back here without me and things like that, but I have to remind myself that that is not today- and I don't want to be so focused on some far-off difficulty in the future that I miss out on today.
I have been reflecting a lot on the past year here. I can't believe it's been a year! Thinking back to when we first got here, how ridiculously challenging it was. I am sure we still have a lot to learn, but we have really come so far! We've actually learned how to survive in this crazy country! haha..
I guess I had a lot of ideas in my head about how things would be here, things we would be doing, how things would feel and how things would look like. It's funny now because it has been so other than what I expected... but it has been really good. Really, really hard- but good. It has been incredibly humbling- if not humiliating. I have been pushed beyond what I can handle in almost very way, come up short, failed... totally missed the mark. And, that is not a bad thing because I now see Jesus in a totally new light.
I have been reading through the Gospels lately. It's strange to read through them now because the way New Testament Israel was is so comparable to how Bangladesh is today. The religious self righteous people, the poor, the sick, the crippled, the hungry.. everyone being needy. The hypocrisy and lies- people trying to take advantage of Jesus- just to get a loaf of bread or a fish. The constant crowds.. Everyone looking to you for something. I can't help but compare how we have dealt with similar things (on a far lesser level of course), and have really been at a loss as to what we should do , how to do it, who to help, who to trust... we have been pushed beyond what we can handle so easily! And yet, Jesus always knew exactly what to do, who to help. It amazes me. He could walk through a crowd of people who all wanted His attention and His help- and he would heal one or a few... It's hard to describe the constant pressure and guilt you feel here because it seems like everyone is looking to you for something. But it didn't phase Him- He just did what His Father told him to do. While it has been a humbling experience for me to see my own lack and inefficiency... I am definitely more amazed by Jesus. And, that really brings meaning to the entire experience here.
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