So many thoughts...  All the time.  I told my Mom the other day, "I am so tired of having to think about everything...!"  And, yes, I meant that.  Is having to think a part of growing up?  hehe...
Just when I think there couldn't possible be any more drama, any more conflict, any more...whatever.  There is.  Just add it to my list.  Another thing to think about.  Another to think to figure out.  Another thing to try to understand.  *deep breath*
I keep coming to my Mom with all these questions.  Poor her. All the, "Why did this happen? Who was wrong here?  How should things have been?"  She just stares at me... and says something about how we just have to follow the Lord and be guided by Him.
I know that's true... but sometimes it seems like it would be easier just to have a one-size-fits-all answer.
The bottom line is this:  You can read all the books, have all the right answers, and think you know how everything in life is supposed to work.  Well, if you're at all like me, brace yourself.  Life is nothing like you expect it to be.  One day when it seems like all the standards failed, all the firm resolutions, all the rules the books made... it'll be life a slap in the face.
I never considered it was possible to replace Jesus with rules and standards.  Those things may be all be good and right.... but apart from Him, they are so empty and worthless.
Just realizing more and more how desperately I need Him.