Why is it often the most obvious things that I find the most obscure?
I had to laugh at myself... Over the last couple months I have been learning what love really is. And that (as is made glaringly obvious in 1 Corinthians 13), the Christian life really just comes down to love. Seems simple. Almost too simple. ;). So... following Christ is not about rules? not about regulations? not about the manner in which we speak or dress or conduct our families? not about bible reading or prayer? Not about evangelism or missions? Those things are not the point? Hard for me to grasp. Really hard. It's about love? About being so in love with Jesus that all of those things just... happen? I can't seem to wrap my mind around it. He's interested in me loving him... not doing/performing/serving Him?
At this point, I can only acknowledge that I know little of that sort if love for Jesus. I know only a selfish sort of love that simply recognizes how desperately I need Him, but I have yet to experience that love that desires Him, for just Himself.
Today I thought to myself, "I should read a book about something... good". Of course, that is the obvious thing to do when you feel spiritually dry, right? ;). A book can solve all your problems. Then I thought, "I should read a book about loving Jesus..." Then it came to me. The Bible. Duh! hehe...
Then I thought back to a time in the past when I was a much better person. More spiritual. More righteous. More holy. More serious about the Lord. I have been lamenting that that person just doesn't seem to exist anymore. I read lots of books during that time. But, when I thought about it...the majority of them were about... things. issues. not about Him.
How many books have I read about prayer , about missions, about modesty, about politics, about relationships, about holiness, about dating vs. courting, about commitment, about being more serious about following God... but how few about just Him?
Is it true that my objective is not to make myself more pleasing to Him? Is it true that, because I am in Him, it is not possible that I could please Him more? Is it true that, even though I feel despicable about myself right now, He loves me just the same as when I felt I was doing well?
I don't know how to get it.. or what it looks like, but I want to love God like that.
#desiringtofallinlovewithjesus