A while back we had a young woman showed up at our door with a 20 day old baby.  The baby didn't seem well and wasn't really waking up at all.  He had a really strange color and something just didn't seem quite right.  She wanted money of course, but Dad told her we would not give money but we would take the baby to the doctor and buy medicine if needed.  So Dad did that, we gave her food, Dad helped her get home, bought her daughters some shoes.  And then... we keep seeing her.  Every time she needs something.  Then she brings her father to us, who also needs money and other things for his other daughter's wedding....

It gets so frustrating sometimes.  There are millions and millions of needy people in Bangladesh. Truly needy!  But it is so exhausting and overwhelming to be looked at as someone who you can get something out of all the time.  Some people lie to us, some people get angry if we don't give money, some people manipulate, some people will literally not stop touching you.... some people look at you and just say, "Taka den."  Which is literally just ordering someone to give you money, no asking- just demanding.  I have literally seen adults pointing at me and teaching their children to come ask for things. Like, "Hey, this is what you do when you see a white person!"  And it's not just the really needy people- it's also people with jobs and clothes and food.   It's really, really challenging.  And it's frustrating.  And it is constant.  And no matter how much you give it's never enough.  And there is seldom any appreciation expressed.

It makes it easy to become hardened to it- to be just so frustrated by it.  And I don't want to be that way.  I want to care about people- and I do.  I think that's what makes it hard- so often you are being taken advantage of because you care- and you never really know the truth of the situation.

All that to say, we have been a little frustrated with this lady. She keeps coming back and it seems like this is going to be another ongoing thing.  This time she just listed all the things she wanted, "Piyaj, roshun, adda, morich, hollud, tel, dal...."  It's all a just little odd.

But when she came this time- I really noticed how young she looked.  A lot of Bengalis look younger than they are though so we asked and she said she was 18.  I was shocked.  Her oldest daughter is 4 or 5.  And she has 3 children.  We keep asking about her husband and all she says is that he is getting married to someone else.  I don't even know if he really is her husband.  Dad asked if her husband gave her food and she said he didn't.  Dad asked why her father didn't help her and she said he's too poor. She showed us a mark and said her husband beats her.  I don't know-I don't understand it all.  And who knows what is actually true!  But, I just felt really sorry for her- she's 18 or 19 with 3 children.  She's tiny- and filthy.  Nobody is taking care of her- in fact, I think she's being taken advantage of.  She goes around and begs for things because she lives in a society were men rule and women have very few options to help themselves.  Where young girls are left raising somebody's 3 children while he marries someone else and doesn't even help her.  It's really,really sad.  And I don't want to be hardened to that- even if she is taking advantage of us or being dishonest. 

Isaac was brushing my hair while she was here for some reason... and she came in and took the brush and started brushing my hair.  She's tiny.  I think she could barely reach the top of my head!  After she brushed my hair she wanted to brush hers, so I started brushing it for her.  It was really, really filthy.  Later she pulled a bug out of her hair, showed it to me and then killed it...haha... I soaked the brush in bleach later. ;)  After she brushed her hair she giggled like a little girl- and I looked at her and realized- she is.  And she's stuck in a really awful situation and probably none of it is her fault.

When you see such sad things all the time- it's just the norm here.  Even she doesn't seem to think it's unusual.  It's hard not to feel guilty... all the time.  But I am learning you have to be flexible.  To really feel the sad things- but to also let yourself feel the happy things too.  And that's okay- it's nothing to feel guilty about.