Right now I am sitting in a Napa auto-parts parking lot. Selling fresh vegetables and eggs... and I'm online.  How weird is that? :)

I spent the morning picking *lots* of corn and cucumbers in our friend's 5 acre garden.  Crazy.  It's strange how drastically your life can change just by being in a different place.  From sipping lattes in nice coffee shops to hauling heavy buckets of corn... haha... my pathetic aching back makes me wonder, "Wow.  When was the last time I actually did some *hard* work?"  It feels good.  Really good.  I don't think I could be content to live a scholar's life... sitting in class all the time.  I do miss the coffee shops though. ;)

We are enjoying all the produce that they have grown.  Canning salsa (while throwing tomato peels at each other) and pickles... freezing green beans.  And I wonder, "Wow. When was the last time I ate a vegetable?!"  It has been so nice.

The other night I was sitting up late reading, just enjoying the quietness.   Suddenly I realized I couldn't hear anybody.  And I wondered, "Wow.  When was the last time I was actually quiet??"

So.  Apparently Wyoming does have some good things to offer. ;)  I think it has been good for me... but, I still feel so far away from everything... everyone.  I don't really know why.  It's not like I saw people all the time in Bend, but it seemed like it was at least not a ridiculous hope. At least it was a possibility.  Hannah and I are constantly wondering... "Who could we get to drive all the way here, just to visit us?"  I guess we are dreamers. 

Yesterday I got to spend the afternoon talking with a dear friend.  Spending time with her was all the more precious as she is getting married soon.  I know it must have been a sacrifice for her fiance. :)  It was so sweet catching up a little bit.. enjoying some lunch and coffee and a walk in the park together.  So good to be able to share with her what has really been happening in my life.  Her comment? "Wow, I didn't know your life was so exciting."  Or was the word dramatic?  I don't know.  Either way I had to laugh.  To avoid crying?  Maybe. ;)

We also did some evangelism at the college yesterday.  People seemed so... open.  Compared to Bend, ANYWHERE would seem open I think.  But, there seems to be an 'open door' there. I am excited about getting involved in the bible studies going on there.  We also might be able to get involved in some children's evangelism stuff here too.

We've also been spending time each morning listening to Mr. York's teaching and time in prayer as a family. That has been good.

The days are quickly getting colder.  I don't care much for winter.

I have been looking at things in retrospect lately.  Things become so much clearer looking back.  Looking at my failures and going... "Wow.  I did that?"  I am seeing myself for what I really am.  And it is humbling.  Seeing how selfish I am.  Seeing how much I have hurt those I care most about through my carelessness.  Through my selfishness.  And so, I am realizing that love does not choose to do what makes me happy.  Love chooses to do what is best for the other person, even if it makes me miserable.  Love is doing what is best for someone else, regardless of what loss it might cause me.  Love is giving up myself, my wants....  Another obvious thing, that, of course, everybody knows... but I am learning and re-learning it.  I am also seeing how often we seek to find our happiness in something other than God.  In a thing. In a person.  And I am realizing again (*smile*) how foolish that is. And how it will only end in disappointment.

I tell you as I get older it seems the more I come back around to realizing I don't understand anything.  There was a time when I thought I had it all figured out. (ha)