Sitting in Mcdonalds. Eating some pretty nasty food. (not a fan)
Best Mcdonalds experience ever:  Hollywood :D
I love the fact that we went to Hollywood  and ate at Mcdonalds. (haha)
That was such a great time... I don't know how many times I've looked through those pictures... seems like an eternity ago.
I am finally fixing my lens. I found a place in Bozeman that can fix it for $50.  That was really great news. :)
I am also buying a speedlight... that is pretty exciting and I think it will be super-helpful for the upcoming wedding. Oh.. and an extra battery pack. :)
Being "home" is so weird.  I guess I expected to feel some sense of ... belonging?  But everything is different.  I am different.  I think it will take me a little while to get a feel for this place.
One thing I am learning is this:  My present circumstances  do not have to determine my happiness... or maybe joyfulness would be a better word.  The last few months have been some of the hardest ones of my life.  I have been so frustrated and confused... wanting things to be different and knowing that I cannot change them.  Demanding answers about the future... that the Lord has never promised to give me.  Allowing myself to be miserable because things are not the way I want them.  And, sure, it really is hard.  it really hurts.  It just sucks.  But I am realizing that my attitude towards the situation I am in is really what matters.  I realize that I can be thankful for every good thing.  for every thing that has made me smile.  I can be content with things just. the. way. they. are.  Or I can drive myself crazy wishing that things were different right now... when they are not.
How many times do I have to re-learn that God's ways are not my ways.  His plans are totally different than mine.  His time scheme is SO different from mine.  I look at a few years and equate it to an eternity.  But, He... He works so much differently than I do.
I allow myself to become so fearful about the future.  What if this or that happens...?  Then I realize that I have today.  And today, there are good things.  And, while the last few months have been really hard.  They have also been bitter-sweet.  Why am I so quick to dwell on the hard things?  and not the things that have been really sweet?
Ask me tomorrow how I am and I may burst into tears.  Even this morning I allowed myself to lay in bed a little longer than usual and sigh one big, long discontented sigh before I remembered that I was supposed to be finding joy.  Oh boy.
I know that I have hope.  And that I trust God.  And that I do believe He has an amazing plan that is unfolding right before my eyes and I just can't see it clearly.  I know that the best things in life... are the things that cost the most (not in terms of money), and the things you have to wait the longest for.