Wow.  The last week has been so crazy.
Leaving Bend was hard.  So sad to say goodbye to all those wonderful people.  So hard to say goodbye to John, but I am (*secretly*) hoping to go back.
Conference was such a strange mix of happiness/sadness. So much harder than I expected.  I am pretty sure I've never cried so much at a conference. But it was good to see everybody.  Really good.  It makes me terrified to think of going to Bangladesh.  I will miss everyone so much.  What a pathetic wreck I am.
One highlight of conference was what was shared on losing your first love for the Lord.  That is definitely something I have been seeing more and more in myself lately.  It's hard to know how to get back... or to move forward....  It's so discouraging to see how quickly I can lose my desire for HIM.  Even in the midst of *doing* all these things "for Him"... I lose my focus so easily.
We are staying in Missoula for a few days on our way to Wyoming.  I slept in until 11 o'clock this morning.  It felt SO good.  I really needed it.
I went for a long walk today and ran *one* mile... just to see how it would go on my foot.  Seems okay so far!  When things are stressful and difficult.... running just seems to help me so much.  So right now.  I NEED to run.
Being back in Montana/Wyoming I feel.... so far away.
I am realizing more and more that He gives the grace to get through today.  I don't know what tomorrow will look like, or a month, or a year down the road... but I only have today.  I am so thankful for that.  I start looking at the future and I become so fearful... anticipating what *might* go wrong.
Life goes on.  And I realize I am okay.