Friday, September 6, 2013

I was right.  Pictures definitely do make it harder. :-/  And, in a way- easier.  Sometimes, being here, home feels so far away and it's like, I dunno, you forget about it.  Pictures.  I like them. :)
I was thinking last night about my desire for home. For.. just a place to be.  Coming here, being in this life, it kind of makes me afraid of always being divided.  As I grow to understand this place and to love it- it kind of scares me. Because just like I couldn't imagine not being apart of life in the States, I'm starting to feel that way about here.
It's sad here. The few Christians that there are.. they aren't really there for each other.  We have been in pretty bad times when we couldn't afford food and stuff, and there were always amazing people there to help us.  But here, we know a family who sometimes can't afford food, and they have hospital bills, no money... and nobody even knows.  Nobody makes sure they're okay.  It's really sad. And missionaries- they divide themselves sometimes, like there is a difference between American believers and Bengali believers.  And it's very painful for them.  People come, and leave, and forget about them. It's so sad to hear them talk about it. I don't want to be that way.
It really puts in perspective the selfish lives we tend to live in the states...  Not that we wouldn't help someone who needed help.  But we don't care about it because we're not seeing it.. Here it's real.  And all the things that seemed so important- just aren't.
On a different note.  This is what I really want right now.  Camping.  Up in the mountains.  I want to be cold, and to be wrapped up in a blanket, sitting around the fire, drinking coffee and talking.
I don't know why- but that's what I really want.  And. That's pretty much impossible to get here! haha.. My birthday is coming up soon, and- I actually was wondering if there was someway to plan a camping trip.  Then I decided that would probably be extremely miserable.  So... yeah.  Never mind. ;)
Every time I write something on here, I don't feel like I'm saying at all what I want to say...haha... :-/

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