These have been good days- it's really strange to me- considering the total collapse I had last week. My circumstances have not changed at all but everything feels new and refreshed, and I don't feel worried or lost or afraid anymore.  I don't know what changed, or how it changed- but I suddenly feel so 'un-burdened' now.  And I feel new strength to keep going, keep moving forward, keep seeking God.  I am really, really thankful for that. And perhaps there will be more break-downs in the future, I don't know- but for now, I am at peace.
Emily wrote me this note the other day:

 "Caley, I want to tell you that you are awesome.

You make my days happier, funner, brighter and crazier.

You inspire me to work harder, be happier, think of others and to laugh more. 

Everyone is happy when they are with you.

You encourage me when I am depressed.

You understand me in ways others cannot.

I love you! Never change... or you will break my heart.

Keep being awesome,

Emily"

When I came I wanted to be here for my family- to support them in all of this.   I have felt like a total failure at that since I've been here.  How can I be a support them when I am falling apart? Emily's note really encouraged me though- perhaps not all is lost. ;)

Today Isaac came in my room and laid by my feet while I was reading this morning. And I realized how thankful I am to be here with him, to be a part of his everyday life- seeing him and Jackson here has been amazing. I don't want to miss the beauty and purpose of today in my rush to get to the future.  I too quickly forget that this is only a season, that will pass all too soon...  We have been here for almost 5 months and it has flown by!  I don't want to miss it.

When I first felt like God was telling me to come here, for whatever reason, I felt like He told me this would be the last opportunity I had to be in this position with my family and that I should not waste it.  I'm afraid I have forgotten that too often!  I don't want to waste these days.

So this week I have taken silly pictures with Emily, had pinching wars with Isaac and laughed so hard with my sister that I thought I was going to drown in the ocean.  I have danced on the street.  I have sang songs and made up songs and I have been even weirder than I normally am.  ;)  I have looked like an idiot teaching little Bangali kids English with Hannah.  And so it goes- it has been a busy week, but it has been a good one.

Now I think I am losing my voice though- that's kind of a bummer.  :-/