To be blunt- this day has sucked.

And, to be honest- I have a really bad attitude and I know it aaaand... I don't really care. I actually do feel sorry for all the people who are trapped with me in this car all day! haha..

I woke up, still feeling exhausted, spent the morning cleaning and packing, rushing so we could get to church on time. Rushed through trying to get ready for church. And had to hear some pretty badly timed comments. Rushed out to the van- got in some ridiculous argument with Hannah, which actually seems pretty funny now. So we screamed at each other in the parking lot. Haha...Then Jackson made some annoying comment- so I promptly told him to shutup. Yeeeeaah... It was pretty bad. And on top of that, everyone else was just as stressed as I was. *deep breath*

Now that I think about it, I owe a couple people some apologies. ;)

Then came the very painful goodbye to Dustyn and Keri and the girls... It's funny. I've been okay- but it's like reality is finally hitting me. And this is really hard! All of its kind of hitting me at once- and it hurts.  I tried not to cry but- no such luck. :-/

It was hard saying goodbye. Kissing my beautiful nieces goodbye... Realizing once again how painfully sweet it is to love.

I feel tired of being so far away from the people I most want to be with.  And I haven't even experienced how painfully lonely and isolated it will be to be on the other side of the world! I'm scared.

I know, I know.. This is a whole lot of self pity. I know I should be grateful for the good things and all that... But, I'm just being honest- I'm not there today. Its been a rough day.

Maybe tomorrow will look brighter- though I doubt it. I mean we'll be driving a thousand miles to Kansas. Oh joy. :-/